Friday, April 3, 2015

Unsung heroes

Hey all, I have been thinking about this subject for several weeks now, how I want to word my ideas, getting all my thoughts expressed, etc. This is an area that I don't see a lot of discussion on, but it is a very important one, because, if, as a cancer patient, you have a caregiver, you are a very blessed person.

My heart goes out to those who have no one to help them fight this battle with them. I can't imagine having to deal with all the problems, side effects, tests, appointments, emotional ups and downs, and all the other hurdles that present themselves during treatment, and having to do it alone.

I've seen those people. They struggle to get into the infusion center on time, then they have to get themselves back home after the therapy session. That isn't the time someone wants to be alone, especially if the medicine has been building up in your system, it's more difficult, because the symptoms show up sooner, and intensify sometimes, as you go along.

I should mention that I am off treatment now. I have been for about a month. I'm starting to feel really good again, getting some strength, we are hoping to have a good, long stretch of time before I have to go back on treatment again. But as I reflect over the last year, and really, over the last decade +, I don't know how I could have gone through it without my partner and best friend, my wife. Now I'm sort of taking my life in my hands here, because she is the type who doesn't want any recognition. :) But this blog has always been about trying to inform and discuss subject matter that you don't hear much about as you fight this disease. So it isn't about her alone, it is meant to cover caregivers as a whole.

You know, it's not a crime for a caregiver to need some care themselves. Sometimes we conjure up an image of a Florence Nightengale type of person, who never needs, or asks, for anything for themselves. And even though they may project this kind of image, we need to remember that everybody is just human. It isn't wrong, it's not weakness or a character flaw for you to need something for yourself as a caregiver. You need to give yourself permission to pamper yourself a little bit, at least once in awhile. It will be better for your situation as a whole. In our case, the facility we went to had a sort of day spa, and my wife and daughter-in-law enjoyed a pedicure while I was getting my testing done. The point is, find a stress reliever, because you will need it. Not to mention you deserve it. Go see a movie. Have a little bit of alone time if that's what you want. Maybe your circumstances won't let you leave your patient alone, or you just don't want to do that. Maybe you could find something to do together. Right now, my wife and I watch tv together. It doesn't sound like much, but she works all day too. I have been feeling better, so I have been finding ways to help her around the house, cleaning up the kitchen, fixing dinner, and more as I get more strength.

If you are a cancer patient, and you have a caregiver, you need to thank the powers that be. If possible, take them out for a nice meal, or create a moment at home for them. Don't take them for granted, imagine your life without them. What would you do? This person is a gift, I believe we should show some appreciation. And by the way, I wrote this as much for myself as I did anyone else. Ok, till next time then, get better!